12 Men You Will Find in Bangkok, Thailand
By Sheeky Sanders
I’ve been in Thailand for a little over a year and arrived single. Considered to take the dating scene head on, I realized that this task had more head games then I ever imagined.
Unlike the dating scene in California, being Asian American, I really didn’t deal with racism or shy men. I could pretty much stereotype California men as assertive, quick to compliment, and offered comfort to a degree. It wasn’t like they didn’t enjoy the attention I’ve learned to give back. Nonetheless, witty banter and arrogance appeared to be the norm growing up along the west coast. “You get me…dude.”
The competition was against me. The beautiful Thai women alone made me insecure and motivated me to up my game a bit. I utilized my flirtatious skills, Cali Asian American swag, a quality push-up bra, and witty humor in my attempts to secure Mr. Perfect.
Having said that, I’ve explored several date apps and social groups to see how I could truly indulge. A quick mission to categorize 12 types of men swimming in the Thailand arena.
Forewarn: These are just generalizations and men who are reading this; you may think everything pertains to you, please don’t take it personally and try to laugh at it rather than be offended. I will not divulge the culture aspects, as that will be in another article.
1. The Backpacker Dude – this guy just arrived and will be leaving shortly. Most likely tanned, wearing shorts and flip flops, Tee shirt or tank top, and maybe a hat will be his attire. You may notice several bracelet ornaments on his wrist as a reminder to himself where he has been. You’re most likely going to meet him at KSR for inexpensive outdoor beer and food, while nonchalantly watch other fellow expats dance the streets, play with balloons, or eat scorpions. Most of your entertainment will be outdoors. This guy will be outgoing and surely buzzed by the end of the night. If you hit it off, be prepared to be invited to his adventure to see the waterfall or a temple. Surely a trip to the isIands are within their itinerary and their fleeting adventurers that you could learn a lot from them. However, if you do choose to have a quick bounce in the sack, don’t get mad if you end up in some room with a fan. That is the horrible risk.
2. The Newly Arrived Professional – this gentleman just moved to Thailand because he got hired abroad and is new to the beautiful attentive Asia and the inexpensive cost of living. So most likely you will have to be assertive and tell him where your most favorite place to dine is at. If you really want to show him a great time, don’t hesitate to take him to the naughty places and do try to keep up with his buzz. Being attentive and forthcoming with this business man will give you brownie points, however, don’t hold your breath for a relationship as you could imagine, his mind is racing with the thoughts of massages and endless exploration. So stay in touch and no hopes for any commitment of any type at this time. Unless he is forthcoming, which I doubt being so new to Thailand. Depending on the time of day you are meeting him, I would say this gentleman will be dressed according to his country of origin neutral fashion. He may have a condo along popular Sukhumvit area, however, it probably lacks food in the fridge and still newly furnished.
3. The Long Term Resident – this guy arrived in Thailand over ten years ago and has made Thailand into his permanent residence. He fell in love at first sight and is now complaining about how much Thailand has changed and the frustrations he has dealt with in the games and dishonesty among female’s ulterior motives. So gaining this man trust is going to be a battle because so much skepticism has been written all over his face. He will read you well and has mastered the art of being an indicator of your intoxication level. He will know if your tipsy or pissed drunk before you even begin to realize. Be aware as he has had years of coaxing shy woman into bed so make sure to just be yourself and enjoy the attention, however, be assertive if you liked what you have experienced. They enjoy to be pursued and don’t forget to ego stroke. His condo is fully equipped and most likely has a nice collection of scotch and whisky. He may even have a variety of read books displayed along with a bowl of Thai baht coins for laundry, unless he has a maid that handles it for him.
4. The Militant – These men fear nothing and is here to experience the next hangover 8. They can hold their alcohol and men with many skills. Sometimes can be pack animals, or if you’re lucky you will have a one on one date. You will get a gentlemen demeanor and a possible chivalrous flair, however, pretentious wine and dine may not be the priority with these guys. Casual banter and assertive flirting will ease comfort and don’t forget eye contact is a must. These are trained predators so don’t be afraid to challenge their animalistic side. Dependent on which country they serve, the evening options are unpredictable, however, if you show interest, they can be blatant or straightforward with their intentions with you. His condo will have clothes strewn about and his fridge will have stocked beer. Most definitely will have a gym, pool, and other amenities and be sure to be kind to his fellow roommates.
5. The Spiritual – This guy has been doing yoga and just returned from a meditation retreat where he was in silence for ten days. He is on a path of self-improvement and is merely dating for some social interaction, however having a quick romp is not a priority. He wants to engage in a meaningful relationship and discuss how everyone should have the will to better their lives. He could be a vegan and a great listener. Your date may consist of coffee or nonalcoholic beverage, mellow dining as his body is his temple and we need to respect that. If you want to hit it off, be sure to engage in his thoughts and experiences. He may have some delightful insight that could really lift your spirits.
6. The Fitness Junkie – This guy is either a trainer or a 24/7 gym guru and knows all the difference styles and theories that can tone your muscles and burn fat. He looks at his body as a canvas and surely takes a glance at his improvements every reflecting chance he can get. Be sure to compliment and acknowledge the beauty that he has bestowed upon himself. He will purchase fruit smoothies and enjoy a hearty meal. He won’t drink as much as you would expect as his respect for his body is more external than internal. Your effective date will be to go on a rock climb or play a sport. He will get to see how athletic you are and if you’re even competitive. Just do it!
7. Airline Staff – This gentleman is currently working and just stopping through Thailand as part of his routine work. He is in a five-star hotel on work expense and lives in another country. May only be there for a day or two and with a rigorous work schedule, unlike the backpacker. He has the time to wine and dine you, but will be very clear on his intentions as time he lacks. He could be a pilot or attendant, regardless, they are trained to exude hospitality and it portrays in their dating demeanor. Attentive and charming, but be aware that the chances of you seeing him again will be highly unlikely as they are always coming and going. For a quick thing with nothing too serious, could be a viable option.
8. The Tech Savvy – This gentleman may want a serious relationship and is looking for long term possibly. He will take you on a nice date to openly discuss your future plans while he investigates every nuances about you. Seeking out loyalty or potential heart break risk. A cross between technical measurements and socially awkward. He will portray comfort and ease to not frighten you away, however he will blush here and there and will be astonished if you surprise him with your knowledge and tech banter. He will also act like he doesn’t care as he has dealt with rejection in the past so be aware that once you’re attracted to this different sort of lover boy, escaping his grasp will be difficult. Impress him with your game knowledge and understand the need for strategic role play. He will adore you more. Alcohol will be the social lubricant; however, he is not there to get intoxicated. So if you are somewhat tech nerdbot, this could be your dream date. If this isn’t your cup of tea, then you may get bored and ask him to fix your technical issues.
9. The Student – Younger men from all over attending a university in Thailand to obtain a student visa and a degree. They are more than frat boys with some serious ambition to improve in their future, yet on a serious budget and cannot venture into anything expensive for the sake of dating or getting laid. So a casual beer and a wrestle in the sack is their main goal so you could pretty much skip the pleasantries. If you’re a student too, then I could see a common ground and continual dates to occur, although the viable options for students in Thailand are limitless. You may want to see this as a booty call option as there are high chances this is what he sees in you.
10. The Professor Teacher – he has a wealth of knowledge in his field and doesn’t like to be undermined. So be attentive and do challenge his projection on to you as he will continually test your intelligent level. His dating style will be somewhat cost effective, but pleasant as he doesn’t want to put himself in any stereotype as a heavy thinker himself. He will play those mind games to stroke his own ego and paint a very strong picture of his uncaring flair. He will enjoy the pursuit and attention if you are attracted enough to put in the effort. There are two sides to this gentleman. He could be very passive or dominant and either way, both rely on their intellect to succeed so it is up to you to challenge your date to be intrigued.
11. The Hitched, but open – This man has a wife, or significant other, with a modern approach to date and see other people. They believe happiness in variety is paramount and their intellectual approach to unconventional good times are apparent. As open minded as I try, I didn’t mind the companionship as I was curious of the jealousy or possessiveness level between a couple. Surprisingly the progressive approach was fascinating. The conversation between both perspectives was not awkward and it’s like having a girlfriend along on a date. The uncertainty gets gleaned over by the social lubricant we’ve established, alcohol. This couple will exude hospitality and kindness all around. It’s important to offer attention equally and so lifelong friendships are made. If attraction is there, well, I don’t see it being an issue for all consensual adults. They most likely live in a home and has all the amenities for comfort and style.
12. The Entertainer – This clever extrovert enjoys the life style to entertain. Whether it’s a DJ, musician, Comedian, or public speaker, this mover and shaker has a busy schedule and you will be missing out if you don’t jump at the chance to be in their company. They are insightful and has taken the liberty to truly engage with whoever is paying attention and their competitive streak is always on top form. Open minded to new ideas and doesn’t mind to be challenged mentally and physically. You will always be impress by their connections and events line up as there is never a dull moment. Be sure to just be yourself with these guys and don’t be afraid to express your attention as the feedback is excellent for them and you will gain long term friendship. As far as getting involved romantically will be tough because for whatever reason the entertainment is so enjoyable that you will tend to get stuck in the friend zone.
As I have conducted my own dating experiment based on my own personal knowledge of men’s behavior and nuances, these are quick summaries to help the single woman new to the dating culture in Thailand. These men are not to be taken lightly. There are several approaches a woman can take. Self-proclaimed slut, the goody good girl, the super religious, the high so, fellow nomad, and so on. The dating dance offers surprises due to other variables and combinations that leads to attraction. Nevertheless, outside influences will throw a wrench into hypothetical predictions and things do happen which can equal to true love or not. This theory is still a mystery as I am in still single.